“So bring on the waves. I’m loved by the one who anchors me. No fear of the grave I walk with the King of victory.” – Red Rocks Worship – I Will Trust

These lyrics and this song fills me with so much joy! As I sing along my heart means every single word. And it just makes this freedom and joy I feel even more apparent. There have been times, as I’m sure you know, as we walk with God that we are mouthing the words but not really living in the fruit of them. That was me.

I tried my hardest to do what was “right” but was still pursuing my own will. I wanted what I wanted. All God had promised to me just in my own way. I compromised and I convinced myself that God could work His way in an unbelievers heart that had no desire for that. I gave my heart and soul in a relationship with someone for 3 years who stripped away every part of who I was. My self worth diminished and the person in the mirror wasn’t me. I said I trusted God – and I did but I was so blinded by fear. Satan had his grips in me and he was trying to steal my purpose and all God called me to be. But God moved. God made a way.

Isn’t it funny how the trials we endure seem to feel like the end of what we thought the dream was. We hold so tightly to the things God is removing thinking that it was His promise, only to get to the other side and realize it was a counterfeit all along. Yeah, I got dumped. Hard core. I thought this was going to be my husband “the promise” but God revealed this mans true character. God revealed his character as well as my own and I needed to find my way back to God. It’s funny how sin has a way of making us desperate. Desperate for the desires of your heart and when you’re desperate you compromise. You are so desperate you are willing to do things your way over Gods way. You lose everything that makes you who you are because you’re operating outside of what God created you to be. Satan wants you to lose sight of your purpose and who you’re called to be. But God has different plans.

Through my breakup God saved me and I felt Him with me through it all like never before. I honestly didn’t know heartbreak could hurt so bad or that you could cry that hard. But God was with me and He carried me through it all. I’ve had heartbreak and hurt before but nothing like this. But there’s something I realize every time and it’s how much stronger that I come out. Through every trial I grow so much closer to God and through it He draws closer to me. Listening to this song I mentioned earlier I can’t help but smile. When I worship I have this undeniable joy like never before. And yes, I am still waiting on promises God gave me but I trust Him. I trust Him like never before because I’ve been through the darkest valleys and He was with me. There’s something freeing about knowing God is right there to catch you when you fall. I know even if it’s bad and my heart gets ripped out God is right there. God is restoring! He is rebuilding! He is healing! And I am stronger! I am better for it all and He has better in store. I came to God broken and lost. Every ounce of my self worth had been wiped away. But I humbled myself before God and I surrendered my heart. A powerful thing happens when you give God full reign of your heart. You can experience full healing.

I am finally feeling more like myself again. God swooped in and repaired my heart and brought joy. The more you begin to find who you are in God the more joy you begin to experience. God has continually given me Ephesians 3:20 – He is doing exceedingly abundantly above and beyond all I could imagine or ask! So I know He will bring His promises. I wait excited in expectation trusting Him because I’ve tried things my way and God has shown me the fruit of my decisions. So now I joyfully praise “bring on the waves” because “I’m loved by the one who anchors me” I know God is with me through the good and the bad. And He is using it all for my good and His glory. The king of kings is with me and for me. He has carried me when I couldn’t stand on my own and He will do it again! So I will continue to sing joyfully even in the waiting! Submit your heart to God and He will bring healing and joy like you’ve never known.

Remember You are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole