Sometimes I miss it. Nine months have gone so fast. Yet they haven’t. Some days the pain is worse. Sometimes the hardest part is admitting the truth to yourself. You just aren’t over it. They hurt you and things won’t ever be the same. But that’s okay. Letting go is necessary but sometimes you just aren’t ready. Letting go is a process and it’s different for everyone.

After my breakup I looked around at others going through the same thing and they acted like nothing. Some days I felt guilty or stupid for voicing my struggles with it. That I wasn’t handling it as well as others seemed to be. Then I would hear things like “it takes half the amount of time you dated to get over the relationship.” Dating someone for three years that isn’t exactly something you want to hear or believe. I constantly felt like I was letting go “wrong” like I wasn’t doing something right. I didn’t seem to be handling things and doing things like everyone else…I wasn’t as alright as everyone else appeared to be. But I didn’t want to pretend I was.

Three years is a long time. Nine months later I look back and I see the ways I’ve grown and what I’ve learned. I realize it’s okay that it maybe took me longer to grieve and let go. Maybe I didn’t find someone new the next month but I found myself. I found God. And in the midst of pain I discovered that it’s okay to be different.

You are not them. Your story isn’t theirs and it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to take your time. Not everyone is on the same timeline and letting go is a process. Allow yourself to feel what you feel – nothing happens over night.

Nine months have gone by but I am finally ready to say goodbye. Goodbye to who I was and who I can never be again. Goodbye to that love. All the promises and expectations that were made. Accepting the truth that nothing was what I thought and nothing will be the same again. But it’s okay because God has something better. When one door closes God surprises us and opens the door to something so much more. Just have faith and trust Him. He is in control and what He has for you is so much sweeter than anything we could dream of.

Ps…Remember You are Fearfully Made

xoxo Taylor Nicole