Author: Taylor Nicole

Illuminate My Heart

Illuminate My Heart

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“Will you trust me? Will you really trust me?”- Jesus

I know that I’ve been writing a lot about trust lately but I really feel God continually speak to me about it. There are desires of my heart I’ve been praying, trusting, and hoping for but when I’m with Jesus He repeatedly asks “Will you trust me?” I think a lot of times we have our mind made up how on when things should come to pass. But God is challenging me to trust. Trust even when it doesn’t look like I think it should.

He asked me “Will you still follow? Will you trust?” If that thing your hoping and waiting for doesn’t happen will you still choose Jesus? Honestly, I think 8 months ago when I was still in my relationship I would have said yes, but not truly been living it. The relationship I was in God had given me so many warnings. But I continued to twist His word to justify my will and my way. I tried to convince myself things were Gods will and not my own.

Don’t be fooled. Gods will won’t ask you to compromise. You won’t need to convince yourself it’s right. Gods will won’t cause you to go against what His word says. Ever. Don’t settle even when the waiting gets hard. What are you waiting on? Are you doing it your way because it seems like God is taking too long?

Trust me, I know the feeling. God promised me a husband and I am waiting on Him for that. Sometimes the waiting gets unbearable. But Gods way is always better than our way. He has our best interests in mind. Often we go through unnecessary hurt and stress trying to create our own way if only we would trust. Seek God. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what to do. Because in the end no good thing can come from settling and compromising. Trust me on that as well! I wasted 3 years with someone because I was so desperate to fulfill the promise God gave me. It may feel good to satisfy that desire at the time, but most likely it’s going to be laced with the pain of deception. The enemy wants you to think it’s no big deal. But trust me! Gods prompting – the conviction you feel is protection.

Choose to trust fully. Give your whole heart and God will honor that. God will bless you with the desires of your heart as you surrender all to Him. Choose to trust God and the desires He has breathed into you because no word from God is impossible for Him. If God has promised it He will fulfill His word to you. God honors what you give Him in faith and obedience.

God loves you and you are His most prized possession. Others may have hurt you but God is always for you. He stands guard to protect and prosper you. Is He not worthy of all your trust? All your heart?

Remember You are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole

What’s the Root

What’s the Root

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Honestly, I’ve been feeling distant from God. Less than myself lately. I swing back and forth and struggle to find a balance. But maybe it’s because I never fully found solid ground? I’ve been so busy trying to “fix” myself. I mean that’s a good thing but I feel God is really the only one that can truly mend and fix you.

God brings the revelation and we can either choose to trust Him or continue things our way. I realized that I am still holding onto this control that’s keeping me stuck. The more I hang onto “fixing” myself the more I block out God. Even though working on yourself is a good thing I think we really need to remember to allow room for God to work. My sense of control on everything is still me running the show my way – I never fully submitted my hurt to God. And I want to trust God but I think part of me is scared to fully give everything. After my last breakup it really caused me to guard my heart and I’m starting to realize even from God.

I’ve been struggling like I said and on some level I know why. I was telling myself dig deeper. There’s a root. This root of rejection and deeper than that abandonment that I haven’t given to God. I’ve been so busy trying to prove to myself that I am good enough, lovable, and worthy. Since my breakup I go through waves of feeling good about myself and my progress. But as soon as I let the reminder of what happened in I feel worse again. I see more progress in my fitness – I feel better for a moment. I buy a new outfit – I feel prettier but for a moment. I get a compliment – I feel more worthy but only for a moment. But that’s the problem with basing your worth off of things or other people. It will constantly shift how you value yourself moment to moment.

I didn’t allow my Heavenly Father to remove the deep root of abandonment. The rejection I’ve been feeling manifests into more symptoms – my desire to be “perfect” and prove my worth. I didn’t really realize all this distance I’ve been feeling is because I never fully submitted my complete heart. I’ve been hanging onto my hurt in fear God would turn away. I think the first step into fully healing is surrendering and submitting yourself completely to God. Even if you’re a little scared. God doesn’t love you because you’re “perfect” He loves you because you’re you. I realized the hard way that the more you reject your heart and what you’re feeling the longer it keeps you stuck. You need to stop rejecting yourself – covering up with the lie of “perfection” and learn to except the beautiful, unique, messy, brokenness that makes you so special. You need to accept you are enough because you are more than enough to God.

It definitely is a process and a struggle. I’m still trying to figure it all out. But I know God sees the brokenness and loves us even more. When we begin to be vulnerable with Him and let Him in we give Him the freedom to show us the right path. He will bring healing, restoration, and rebuilding. He will remove the root. So, what’s holding you back? Where’s the root? Pray and ask God – surrender your hurt and your heart ❤

Remember You are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole

Tell Me You Love Me

Tell Me You Love Me

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Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”

Tell me you love me. There’s this weight to the words “I love you.” It wasn’t until last night that I realized the true power of those words. I think a lot of times we throw them out so casually they’ve lost their true meaning and power. I know I’ve said them a million times to people that really didn’t ever mean much to me. And then it’s like how do we know if we really mean it? How do others know and can they truly trust our intentions?

I was thinking of all the times I said “I love you” without truly meaning it. And gosh, it’s so easy to say when you’re caught up in the moment. The feeling. The lies. Because emotions lie. Satan often uses them to distract and entangle us. And as I am now single I thought about my future husband. I struggle with the concept of dating or not to date. I easily fall and get swept up in my emotions and easily say “I love you.” As I thought I just realized I don’t want to be one of those people. Someone who says those words with no meaning behind it.

I am so grateful the Holy Spirit gave me this simple revelation of the weight of those words. As I wait for my husband now I do it with intention and I’m no longer giving into old patterns or distractions like I used to. And I thought of the “old me” how I would say “I love you” because I wanted to feel loved. I’ve been tempted when those feelings and butterflies come fluttering in to say those words, but this last time I thought of my future husband. How would he feel knowing I said those words to some random guy I barely knew. Or how would he feel knowing that after my last breakup I waited to say those words to him because he was so special.

Maybe you don’t or haven’t thrown out those words often like I have but I’m just realizing the weight that they hold. And that might sound silly to you but I think it’s important to remind ourselves of the power that they hold. God loves us with unfailing kindness. He is constantly pursuing us. And I am so grateful that He pursues my heart and reveals truth to me at just the right times that I need it ❤

Remember You are Fearfully Made

xoxo Taylor Nicole

A Word From God

A Word From God

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“Healing, Restoring, Rebuilding. I am making all things new better than before.” – Jesus

Isn’t it funny we hear a word from God and we think it’s something way different? I often feel that way when I hear God speak to me. I tend to look back and see “Ohaaa that’s what He meant!” After my breakup God spoke that word to me. That He would bring healing, restoration, and rebuilding. I was convinced He was telling me He was healing, restoring, and rebuilding my relationship with my ex. But God gave me revelation about him and the breakup and it opened my eyes to his character. God gave me so many warning signs throughout my relationship and after the fact I saw the blessing that the breakup was. Now months later I see what God was speaking and promising.

God fulfilled His promise to me. But it wasn’t for what I thought. God didn’t mean that He was restoring my relationship but rather He was restoring me. God completely healed and restored my broken heart. He rebuilt me on a stronger foundation of Him than ever before. There’s this trust with God now and it’s like I’ve never known before. He literally carried me through my pain and when I couldn’t stand on my own Jesus was my strength.

It’s funny how Gods promises often don’t happen the way we expect. But rest assured if He promised it He will do it! Gods ways are so much better than our ways. It’s not what I imagined when He spoke those words to me but it is so much better ❤ God brought me out of complete darkness. I was broken and God breathed His joy and life back into my soul. He kept His promises to me and made me whole. I am so much stronger, wiser, full of confidence, and love. I walk in boldness. Armored in the truth of God. I am better than before.

Trust Gods promises even if they don’t happen as you see fit. Because looking back they have a way of surprising you. They leave you in awe and wonder of the way He works.

Remember You are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole

Breathe

Breathe

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“Just Breathe. What are you so afraid of? To show the real you? To be seen for all you’ve been created for?” – God speaks. Distraction plants those seeds of doubt. When you’re too distracted looking everywhere but in your Heavenly Fathers presence you begin to doubt your purpose. You begin to discredit who you were created to be.

I know lately I’ve felt overwhelmed and distant from God. As I sit here wracking my brain I can’t even think because I am so distracted. Our days consist of us being enticed and bombarded by everything. And in the moments of quiet I feel this void. I reach for my phone instead of my fathers hand – instead of the prompting to be in His presence. I can’t help but feel this naked vulnerability as I sit in the quiet alone. Maybe it’s just me, but I long to feel acknowledged and affirmed. My first instinct is to grab my phone, but that distraction will only satisfy this hunger for a short while. This distraction pulls me away from God and the fulfillment that His relationship with me brings. The only truly satisfying thing.

But I feel myself look around as we often do and I begin to compare myself. I start to judge myself and where I’m at with other people. Only growing my dissatisfaction with myself and life in general. And I realized that this distance I’ve been feeling comes from my distraction. I’ve been comparing myself and doing things not because it’s who I am or makes me happy, but because it’s what I think is expected of me.

We all have a certain set of gifts and talents God gifted us and you will NEVER be happy trying to be someone else. I realized a lot of what I was doing was because I wanted to be approved, more valuable, more worthy. But in whose eyes? Because you are already approved, redeemed, made worthy in Christ. Don’t make the mistake of becoming so distracted by this world you buy into the lie you have to be anything other than who you are. You don’t need to do things to gain approval because you’re already approved by God.

Something I need to do more of is weed out these distractions and bad habits. Instead of reaching for my phone I reach for my fathers hand. God will pick you up right where you’re at and guide you back to the right path. Don’t seek to be deemed worthy in the worlds eyes. As I write this God is also speaking to me – and I see that the more I try to fill myself with what this world says will satisfy the more depressed and distant from God I become. No amount of new outfits, likes, or followers will make me whole. I need to turn to my creator and allow Him to fill me.

He desires you. All of you. So lets break free from the distractions. Cut out the lies! Ask yourself what’s holding you back? What are the distractions keeping you from God?

Remember You Are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole

I Choose Trust

I Choose Trust

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“So bring on the waves. I’m loved by the one who anchors me. No fear of the grave I walk with the King of victory.” – Red Rocks Worship – I Will Trust

These lyrics and this song fills me with so much joy! As I sing along my heart means every single word. And it just makes this freedom and joy I feel even more apparent. There have been times, as I’m sure you know, as we walk with God that we are mouthing the words but not really living in the fruit of them. That was me.

I tried my hardest to do what was “right” but was still pursuing my own will. I wanted what I wanted. All God had promised to me just in my own way. I compromised and I convinced myself that God could work His way in an unbelievers heart that had no desire for that. I gave my heart and soul in a relationship with someone for 3 years who stripped away every part of who I was. My self worth diminished and the person in the mirror wasn’t me. I said I trusted God – and I did but I was so blinded by fear. Satan had his grips in me and he was trying to steal my purpose and all God called me to be. But God moved. God made a way.

Isn’t it funny how the trials we endure seem to feel like the end of what we thought the dream was. We hold so tightly to the things God is removing thinking that it was His promise, only to get to the other side and realize it was a counterfeit all along. Yeah, I got dumped. Hard core. I thought this was going to be my husband “the promise” but God revealed this mans true character. God revealed his character as well as my own and I needed to find my way back to God. It’s funny how sin has a way of making us desperate. Desperate for the desires of your heart and when you’re desperate you compromise. You are so desperate you are willing to do things your way over Gods way. You lose everything that makes you who you are because you’re operating outside of what God created you to be. Satan wants you to lose sight of your purpose and who you’re called to be. But God has different plans.

Through my breakup God saved me and I felt Him with me through it all like never before. I honestly didn’t know heartbreak could hurt so bad or that you could cry that hard. But God was with me and He carried me through it all. I’ve had heartbreak and hurt before but nothing like this. But there’s something I realize every time and it’s how much stronger that I come out. Through every trial I grow so much closer to God and through it He draws closer to me. Listening to this song I mentioned earlier I can’t help but smile. When I worship I have this undeniable joy like never before. And yes, I am still waiting on promises God gave me but I trust Him. I trust Him like never before because I’ve been through the darkest valleys and He was with me. There’s something freeing about knowing God is right there to catch you when you fall. I know even if it’s bad and my heart gets ripped out God is right there. God is restoring! He is rebuilding! He is healing! And I am stronger! I am better for it all and He has better in store. I came to God broken and lost. Every ounce of my self worth had been wiped away. But I humbled myself before God and I surrendered my heart. A powerful thing happens when you give God full reign of your heart. You can experience full healing.

I am finally feeling more like myself again. God swooped in and repaired my heart and brought joy. The more you begin to find who you are in God the more joy you begin to experience. God has continually given me Ephesians 3:20 – He is doing exceedingly abundantly above and beyond all I could imagine or ask! So I know He will bring His promises. I wait excited in expectation trusting Him because I’ve tried things my way and God has shown me the fruit of my decisions. So now I joyfully praise “bring on the waves” because “I’m loved by the one who anchors me” I know God is with me through the good and the bad. And He is using it all for my good and His glory. The king of kings is with me and for me. He has carried me when I couldn’t stand on my own and He will do it again! So I will continue to sing joyfully even in the waiting! Submit your heart to God and He will bring healing and joy like you’ve never known.

Remember You are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole

Will You Wait?

Will You Wait?

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“Will you wait? Will you wait in the garden with me? Is my love, my presence enough? Beautiful one, let me rejoice over you. Let me fill you with joy. Come to me and let your heart be filled with love songs for me again. Turn to me. Turn from this cold world. It turns up void but my love produces fruit. My love brings blessing. My love is life. Give your heart and watch your desires come to pass.” – God ❤

In my prayer time with God last night I heard Him speak those words to me. I have been seeking God but getting stuck in these distractions lately. And He has been prompting me to trust Him. Trust Him with all my desires and all He has promised. But when God prompts your heart are you willing to wait? When He speaks promises you haven’t seen come to pass will you wait?

A huge desire on my heart has been to get married. A few months ago I went through a breakup from a long term relationship which was almost 3 years. I thought that this was the person I was finally going to spend forever with! Unfortunately, things didn’t work out that way. I am so grateful for God’s revelation and saving grace. But I am still waiting on my husband and it gets hard. God has promised me things and given me visions about my husband and I need to trust Him. But I start to look around at what everyone else has or does. Where society says I should be and what I should have by now…and I start to feel discouraged. I trust God! But when He tells us to wait are we really willing?

Trusting can be really hard. We want to know the who, what, where, when, and how?! We just need to trust God because ultimately He knows what’s best for us. I have been praying about my husband and I start thinking of what God may have spoke or did for others. I get that same expectation in my head trying to find out more…but God told me that I need to wait to know because I’m not ready yet. It can be hard to trust without all the juicy details. But choose to trust in what God tells you. Trust in His promises. I think just knowing that God’s way is so much grater than our own gives me the peace and excitement I need to wait on his promises.

God has been continually giving me Isaiah 43:19 ” See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” He is bringing surprises! He desires to pour out blessings and love on you. Even when you’re waiting don’t give up because Gods got something better and bigger than you can imagine in store!

Remember You are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole

Are You Willing?

Are You Willing?

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I’ve been waiting to hear from God and that’s why I have been a little MIA. But honestly, I’ve felt disconnected lately. Then last night I was praying and I felt God say “Are you willing.” He gave me those same words last year around this time. And they’ve stuck in my head ever since but this time they meant something more.

God was telling me to let go of what I thought. What I thought I needed and where I thought I should be by now. To trust Him. I think we get into thinking things have to be a certain way based off social media and our culture. You start looking around and comparing and realize “Hey?! why am I not there?!” or “Why don’t I have that?!” But you cant compare yourself to what society says. We get so entangled in our own ideas we leave no room for God.

Did God not create you?! He knows you and your deepest desires so you can trust things will happen when the time is perfect for YOU. God knows what’s best for you and only you. You don’t need to worry about the time line of things. I feel like when we worry we miss what God is trying to teach us through our circumstances. I know whatever God has for me will happen because whatever God has anointed for me I cannot miss! When God has anointed you to do something there won’t be a huge struggle. Yes, you might have obstacles, but He will bless you being you because there is an anointing on you. Only God can open the doors He has placed for that calling on your life. No matter how hard some people strive to be something or someone if they aren’t called to it they won’t succeed through it. One option relies on our own efforts and the other relies on Gods abilities giving Him complete control.

I’ve noticed the more I try to be something I’m not it doesn’t work out. The more I strive to be accepted by the world I fail by its standards. That’s because God created us unique. He created You to be You! God won’t bless a counterfeit. He hasn’t called you to be like them. When God spoke the world into existence He knew you. He said ” _______ is my masterpiece they are fearfully and wonderfully made.” You ARE pleasing to God. Isn’t that enough?

I’ve come to the point where I know God loves me and knows what’s best for me. Why should I spend my time being miserable trying to be something or someone that isn’t who I’m called to be? Because when you accept who God created you to be you allow Him to work in and through you. Accept yourself for who you are and where you’re at. You may still need a little work but do what you can and God will do the rest!

So, turn away. Turn away from comparison and step into who God called you to be. Turn back to God and His ways. When you give God your heart he will give you the desires of yours. The question is are you willing?

Remember You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole

You Are Loved

You Are Loved

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Walking down the street this reminder “You Are Loved” came when I needed it the most. I had forgotten my worth. I think we often give into the lie we aren’t lovable and we forget who we are. I know at least for myself I’ve allowed others to determine that worth. In actuality the choice is yours! You determine the love you receive. You know I used to think it was my fault that I was mistreated. But I realize now how someone treats you is really just a reflection of that person NOT of you or your worth.

I get it! It’s definitely not always easy to just walk away or brush things off. I’ve been there. I’ve been so entangled in the toxic spiral that your mind starts to believe the lies that you deserve the abuse. But that’s why it’s so important You remind yourself You Are Loved ❤ Remind yourself what God says about you. I love to read these prayer pages I’ve made with scriptures stating how special and loved I am. I also have pages with affirmations about myself. Tell yourself you’re special! Do whatever works for you and set aside a time to remind yourself of all the gifts and talents God has placed in you!

You need to be the one to choose that you are loved. I know it’s hard when you’ve been hurt. But we all have wounds and all that matters is how you pick yourself up and move on from the hurt. Remember you are loved and dive into the arms of Jesus to remind you. He died on the cross for you! I mean there’s nothing more powerful to the testament of your worth than that. He died for YOU. Just You. Can you imagine giving your life up for someone because you love them so much?

Choose to love yourself that much. Don’t put what someone else says above what God says. Don’t let their actions diminish your worth. When we forget we are loved we move towards any thing that will show us or give us that love. Be strong in yourself! Know what you deserve and don’t settle for less. Set boundaries for yourself and others but also keep them! I heard once that the boundaries you set are teaching others how to love you.

It’s funny because it really clicked in me when I heard that. For so long I spun down this black hole feeling worthless. I continued to give up more and more of myself trying to get love. In actuality I was pushing myself further from it. Not only was I not loving myself but I was showing my ex that I didn’t love or value myself either. Which caused him to use me. I lost myself. And honestly, I thought I’d never recover. But that’s what the enemy wants you to think. He wants you to believe the lies you aren’t loved or that you don’t deserve better. But you deserve the BEST! You are the prize! I just thought that the reminder You are Loved was needed. I want y’all to never forget how special you are! How special God thinks you are ❤

And just in case no one has told you today You Are Loved. You are Beautiful ❤ You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

xoxo Taylor Nicole

I’ve Got the Blues – Ocean Vibes

I’ve Got the Blues – Ocean Vibes

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Hey Gorgeous! I hope you’re loving all these ocean vibes with the look I created! I used Pacifica Beauty’s animal magic palette.

I love Pacifica shadows because they are vegan and cruelty free. Not to mention super affordable!! I picked my palette up at ULTA for $24. I found the ingredients and the formula differing from other Pacifica palettes I own. But I still really wanted to try this bad boy out! I’ve only had this palette a week, so I haven’t tried all the colors but I can say they are super pigmented! I really love the variety this palette offers. Especially the shimmer and sparkle! Overall I did find the colors to be harder to blend than other Pacifica shadows especially the darker shades. Which was kind of disappointing but not a deal breaker. Shown below is the palette and as you can see it has GORGEOUS colors!

The colors I used for my ocean vibes look were Blue Whale – a deep teal shade, Dolphin – a grayish green shade, and Hummingbird- a bright shimmery blue. The swatches above show Dolphin (from the very top), Blue Whale (in the middle), and Hummingbird (at the very bottom). As you can see these colors show up very opaque. Which personally I love. Below are some photos I took showing the shadow indoors with the lighting in my bedroom vs the photos I have at the top of the page and at the very end of the page. These were taken on my front porch in natural lighting. Side note here – None of these photos are filtered I wanted y’all to really see the shadows true colors!

I love how pigmented and blue Humming Bird shows up!
I know my bedroom lighting sucks and its too dark to completely see the look BUT I feel like you can still really tell how pigmented these shadows are 🙂
This photo is outdoors in natural lighting! I feel like you can see the shadows true colors a lot better! Although I love this look in any lighting!

Honestly I am obsessed! I love how this look turned out! I may just want to wear blue shadow everyday. I really loved how it made my hazel eyes pop! I think this would definitely be a super great look for anyone with brown or hazel eyes. Also, it’s just a super fun look for spring and summer! Can you say Mermaid Vibes?! I hope y’all loved this look as much as I did! Definitely try out Pacifica’s animal magic palette. With the amazing variety it offers it’s totally worth it! Just expect to have to blend a little more. And if you attempt an ocean vibes look tag me! I would love to see your makeup looks.

xoxo Taylor Nicole