It’s definitely been awhile since I’ve posted on here! Lately I’ve been fasting and really trying to seek God. In this I’ve found how often I myself and everyone in general runs to these silly “everyday” things rather than Jesus. Most of these things we fill our days and our hearts with are just distractions from the only thing that can truly ease our pain – Jesus. The more I seek God, the more apparent my brokenness becomes. The more these distractions and habits are amplified in my life. The stress and fear doesn’t disappear as I seek things of this world, but merely distracts me from it. But in these moments where I’m resting in my Fathers arms I feel loved, validated, and seen. I feel consumed with a security and apart from Him insecurity and fear sinks in.

I’ve worked through and am still continuing to work through a lot of trauma from the last 2 years. Yet God never ceases to amaze me and meet me where I’m at. He has never once left my side and persistently tells me “I will never forsake you.” He promises “I am with you. You are mine.” In the heartache, in the darkness, in the unknown we don’t always feel Him. I know that sometimes in the trials or when we are being tested we tend to question or doubt His presence in our situation. But Jesus keeps telling me over and over “Just seek me”…”Trust me.” Put down your desires and timeline of how things should be done and allow Him to move. Trust He will not forsake you for He is with you.

The more you seek Him the more your brokenness may seem to appear. But there’s a shift. Like I said God meets you where you’re at and there’s a grace that covers you. You see your brokenness and all that you are, but somehow feel more whole than ever before. As God exposes my weakness and broken pieces I feel all the normal emotions of sadness or pain, but then also joy. I know that my Father will heal me. He will help me pick up the pieces. His word and His presence make that broken feeling disappear and He fills me making more whole than ever before. More whole than anything this world offers to fill you…you can’t explain it or rationalize it. The more you sit in His presence the more you desire it. If you step away for a moment it’s a moment too long. I don’t know about you, but I need to stay in constant communication with God all day long.

In His presence He tears down the lies. He removes the strongholds. He is the Truth and when He speaks it brings healing to every broken piece inside. I want you to know what God has been pressing into me. I know it it’s hard to trust at times when nothing seems to be happening, but God is not a man that He should lie. He is doing what He promised and that promise still stands! Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy or the negative comments of others. God has been telling me to listen … “What is in your heart?” What is the Holy Spirit telling you? God knows you and He knows the intimate desires of your heart. No one else knows.

I’ve had people in the church as well as outside of the church constantly try to change me and tell me what to do and what to think. If I don’t dress a certain way then I’m not really a Christian. If I don’t think a certain way then God doesn’t love me. But the truth is God knows your heart. He knows where you’re at and what you need. If you are actively pursuing Him and His word then He will reveal the way. Nobody else can tell you what is meant for you except Him. I used to be so consumed with the opinion of others and pleasing everyone I forgot to ask the only person whose opinion matters – Jesus. He continually tells me to just seek Him. Trust Him. He desires all of you not just the left over parts. The process can be a roller coaster. Trust me I know! But if you seek Him there is joy in the pain and purpose in the waiting. Nothing is wasted. He is leading you straight into His arms. So ask yourself what are you giving yourself to? And is it working? …..Will you choose to seek Jesus and give Him your heart? Your whole heart ❤

Remember You are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole