So, its been awhile since ya girl has posted on here! If I’m being honest life got in the way. I post what God tells me to and I just wasn’t spending enough time in deep prayer with Him. I went back and forth trying to decide if I should continue this blog or not. Ultimately, God laid it on my heart that I needed to. Even if it is just to help one person it’s worth sharing every bit of what I go through and what God speaks to me. I wanted more of God yet I was seeking all these outside influences. Trying to be enough. Trying to be “more.” We always seem to look to this idea of “more.” At least I can say I did and still do. I want “more”… more time, influence, impact, understanding or whatever it may be. But I feel like our desire for “more” and fears of not being enough get in the way.

This idea of “more” I feel is often thought about one sided. It wasn’t until the other night in prayer that this really hit me. As I cried out to God I said “I want more of you” and instantly He responded “I need more of you if you want more of Me.” WOW! That hit me! Really I think a lot of times we just expect God to magically show up. Don’t get me wrong He can totally do that…BUT He desires for us to seek Him.

I think especially in our society today we say “I want more” and get it instantly. But it doesn’t work this way in relationships and especially in relationship with the Lord. Can you think of a time when you constantly and consistently poured into someone else and received nothing back? I feel that is how God often feels. Not to say that our relationship with Him is based on works because it is NOT…but like any relationship it goes both ways. Jesus died on the cross for us – for you! He loved us so much He couldn’t imagine spending eternity parted from us so He selflessly died on the cross. Relationships are about self sacrifice and doing things you may not want to do for the other person. Did Jesus want to die a horrible death on the cross? He probably wasn’t jumping up and down doing cartwheels about this. Needless to say He did it. He did it because He loved us. That is why we are called to pick up our cross daily and surrender ourselves to Him. Luke 9:23 says “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” Right there in the bible it tells us what to do in order to get to our “more” the intimacy we desire with Jesus.

Sometimes or maybe I should say most of the time in order to get more we need to sacrifice more. This goes for anything! It may be more time, money, effort whatever it is for you. This holds true in relationships – in order for both sides to open up there needs to be equal effort. If you come to Jesus with the expectation of “more” will be given “just because” you’ll never experience the full intimacy relationship with Him offers. It’s a process not an immediate jump. As you open up more giving more of your heart, desires, trauma, and fears Jesus will reveal more of His will, wisdom, and glory to you.

Just remember because you want more doesn’t always mean you’ll automatically get more. In order to get more you need to work for more. This requires dying to your flesh. Pick up your cross daily and die to your will and your way and allow God to show you what He wants for you. Seek Jesus the way He seeks you and experience His love in a whole new way.

Remember You Are Fearfully Made ❤

xoxo Taylor Nicole